Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Gone Fishing.......

My dad was not around when I was growing up. My grandpa stepped up to the job. From my earliest memories I remember being with my grandparents. They molded me, they helped me grow up. Most of my best memories are with them.

My fourth birthday

I have no idea when this was. I just remember he used to take naps on the floor all the time. I would lay with him most times.

Taking me, my sister and my brother for a ride.

I think this was the summer I was turning 1.

One of my most favorite pictures!

My grandparents 25th wedding anniversary. Obviously I wasn't there but I am sure it was a special day!

They drove all the was to Missouri to visit me when I graduated basic training.
This was printed after he passed away.

Not sure how old he was in the photo, but he was sure a handsome man.
My grandpa passed away May 18, 2011. He has been gone just over 12 years. Some days if feels just like yesterday. Some days I can't breathe. I miss him terribly.
My grandpa was an avid fisherman. We (him, me, numerous family members) were always out fishing. Some days it was only an hour and some days it was many hours.
He taught me how to fish. He taught me how to bait the hook, how to cast, how and when to reel it in. he taught me everything he could.
I have not been fishing since he died. I haven't even taken our kids. My kids are 11, 7 and 6 and have never been fishing.
I just can't do it. It hurts to much. I really want to but I just can't. What if I take them and I can't remember how to fish? Do you know how disappointed my grandpa would be? All that time he spent teaching his kids and grandkids to fish and what if I forgot? I couldn't do that to him.
Ugh. Between his death anniversary, Father's Day and his birthday (August 9th), it makes for a couple hard months. Summers were always busy and fun and filled with so much laughter.
Oh, how I wish my kids could of met him. I know they would love him and he would love them. I can see him now cracking jokes at them, yelling at them for being loud. All the stuff he used to do to me. They would of had the best relationship. I just know it. I just know it.
It has gotten easier over the past 12 years but summers are still tough.