Monday, January 26, 2009

Might as well blog....

So I don't blog alot, I have to change that. It feels like I am sooo busy all the time. Although I really don't know with what. I am always cleaning something, organizing something, watching some kinda recorded show. And I always have a list of things to do. No matter what day what time, I can always produce some sorta to do list. And that sucks. I never feel like a normal person who can just enjoy life and let things be. I just want to go along with things and be happy with my house and life, just for a moment. I always have to be doing something and if I'm not doing something, I am running around going to Walmart, visiting my grandma, just mindless errands that really don't need done. I would rather take my children out in the freezing cold then sit home and relax. I bring so much pressure and stress on my self. I need to quit, but how do you quit something you are so addicted to. How can I make myself learn to relax and calm down. Yes, I know I can pop happy pills which I have and they have such weird and sometimes horrible (like hair falling out), and the fact that I have to remember to take them every day, haha that's how I got Landon, taking birth control everyday was such a pain, so we all know I am not very responsible.

Wow, I just rambled about nothing and more nothing. Why because I have nothing todo so I have to make up stuff to do, I am such a nut case.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I am soooo done...

I have been so stresses out lately. I almost cannot take it anymore. 2009 has been the worst year so far and it's only the 8th of Jan. It just feels like everything is falling apart and I am just sitting here watching it happen. I am watching friends and family go through awful things, my step dad is in the ICU and god only knows what's going to happen, my car keeps breaking, but that's a whole different story since we are borrowing the car from friends, Matt failed the Akron PD test twice and he's all pissy. I just need everything to stop and be ok for awhile. All I do is cry. I cry day and night. I am tearing up right now cause I cannot handle the stress. I need a break from this life. I mean at least if my car is going to break, I should have money to fix it - now I need to find 77.87 for the damn part. Well, my boss is back, i gotta vent later

Monday, January 5, 2009

So it's been over a year...

I have decided to start blogging on this website and myspace. If I write one here I will copy it over to myspace and vice versa. As soon as I get home from work I am going to try and add some more pictures to this one and make it look all cool like my sisters - Love Ya Amy!!