Monday, February 3, 2014

Official Monday Update!

I am such a horrible blogger. I have visions of writing posts each and every day. I have so many great ideas. I also have no time. I am sure all you other mommas who have kids and work and run errands and take kids to appointments 2x a week and all the 800 other things know how I feel.

So now I am going to shoot for once a week. Even that is going to be hard. There is so much I want to blog about. So much I want to open up about. So much I want to yell about. But I can't. I can't say what's really on my mind. One day I will get the courage to say whatever I want.

The past few weeks have been a trying time with Landon. I am not ready to go into all the nitty gritty details but it was determined that he does not have ADHD and ODD. He has something else all together. Just not quite ready to deal with it all. Still trying to take it all in. Praying about it all. Researching and reading lots of books. Trying to get informed. As well as keep up with all his appointments. Basically just adjusting.

Emma. Well, Emma is just fine. She is a typical 6th grader. Gaining interest in boys, losing interest in studies. So really that is the only complaint with her. She is such a great kid. She is becoming a beautiful, young woman. She always helps me out with her brothers. She ALWAYS has her nose in a book. Always. When she does get in trouble (which is like never), we have to take away her books as her punishment. She is just a great kid. Cannot believe she will be 12 in less than 2 months!! Time to start planning a party!!

And we could not forget about Chase. Oh Chase. Why is that 3rd kid always a handful? Chase is for sure my instigator. That kid starts more fights than all 3 kids combined. It did take us awhile to catch on but we did. With that being said, Chase is also the only kid that still snuggles. He still climbs in our bed about once a week to sleep with us. He is the only one that typically demands hugs when we leave him. Even to just go to work. So yeah, it's kinda nice still having a "baby".

So yeah, the past couple weeks have been rough. But we survived. And we will keep on surviving. We will survive by the grace of God. And for that, I am incredibly thankful.

I am still dealing with my anxiety. Some days are good, some days are bad. I am very thankful I decided to be honest with myself and others about my anxiety. Most people were very understanding. Some, however, were not. Some of the people closest to me have not been supportive. And guess what, it's time to distance myself from that. Same people who where VERY unsupportive during all this with Landon. Guess what, time to distance us from that. I still love them and they will always be family but sorry. If you cannot be supportive then it's time for me to move on. Harsh? Yes. But necessary for the success of my family. I cannot let the negativity get me down. Y'all know who you are. I now have to shut the door on this because I will end up writing and writing and writing. I have way too much to say about FAMILY and friends who are so caught up with themselves or the past that they can't see the beauty in front of them. But in the end, it's their loss. Me, my husband and my kids have so many other great people in our lives. So many great people.

We are surrounded by some pretty great family and friends. We have such a huge support system through our church family. If I need to talk I know I can pick up my phone and reach no less than 3 people. Anytime. If I need a laugh I know my friends have that taken care of too. There is definitely no shortage of laughter between us.

So basically no matter what we go through, no matter how bad or how great things are I know that I couldn't be anywhere with out my faith. My faith is the only thing that has gotten me through the past few months. I have turned to him in the bad times and I have praised him in the good. He has watched over me during our travels. He has kept our family safe during this winter. He has provided us with more than we wanted or needed during the holidays. He has put my heart at peace (somewhat...LOL) in knowing that my grandma is going to pass any day. He gave me the strength to tell my kids. Basically over this past year I have figured out (the hard way, of course) that if you really give your self to the Lord, he WILL take care of you.

There will still be bad times. Very bad times. There will be good times. And with God it just makes things a little smoother. I am not saying that there were no tears or no yelling or no heartbreak. What I am telling you is that God got us through it all. And he will continue to carry us.

Wherever we go. Whatever life throws at us. We got this.