He's getting so big!!

Today is Chase's 3rd birthday!!

And now to the birth story........

I was induced on November 6th, 2005. We were to be at the hospital at 8am, so of course I was there at 730am. I was sooooo nervous!! My stomach was going nuts all night and all morning and I spent the first 2 hours in the bathroom, you know, doing my business

*** side note: the day before I gave birth to each of my kids, I had a serious case of the number 2's, hmmmm, must be a way for my body to tell me to pack my bags***

So I finally get hooked up to my IV and all my drugs and all that fun stuff.

I was cruising along till about 11am when the mean doctor decided to break my water and kick me into high gear.

All I remember is my hubby touched my foot and I WENT OFF. I think the people in the next room could hear me telling him what I thought.

About 1pm, I got my epidural!! It was magical. Life was good and I was moving right along. I was somewhere between 6-7cm dilated.

At 3pm, I had what felt like the longest contraction EVER. I was getting ready to call the nurse when in came the nurse and my doc. And without even checking me she told me it was time.

So she checked me and yep, it was time....man she is good!!

So another doc I see came in and asked me if a member of the hospital who just so happens to be a big donate could watch my birth. She wanted to see someone give birth then apparently write a big fat check to the hospital.

How could I say no when I have had all 3 of my children here.

So now I have 3 nurses, a resident doc, my OB, my other OB, some rich lady and then in walks in 3 students.

At this point I am so ready to go and meet my son, I really didn't care. I just wanted to see my baby!

So to wrap things up, Chase Allen Lee Wolfe was born at 3:39pm, 8lbs, 7oz, 21 inches long

He was perfectly awesome and all mine!!

Come get to know me!!

Since I am pretty new to the bloggy world, I though I would steal this from Mad Woman and share a little bit about myself. I know my blogs have been downers lately but that is going to change (well, not all the time) but I am going to be posting my restaurant reviews every Monday and then I am going to steal from some other blogs to figure out what I should do the rest of the week. Hmmm, any suggestions??







So here are the ABC's of Me!! Yeah, everything you always wanted!!







A – ADVOCATE FOR: I am advocate for Domestic Violence Victims and Sexual Assault Victims. I currently work for a domestic violence shelter and love working with the women and children who have to come and live here.







B – BEST FEATURE: My hubby would say my boobies of course, I mean they are a little large and all but he loves them. I love my lips. They are nice and plump without being too plump I can't drink out of a straw




C – COULD DO WITHOUT: My children fighting. Dieting. Bills.







D – DREAMS & DESIRES: I want to be a good mom. I want to be a good wife. I want to pay off all my debt and buy some new cars. I want to be famous for something, just not sure what that is yet....




E – ESSENTIAL ITEMS: My 3 favorite outfits, all from the GAP. They include a sweatshirt and sweat pants each in pink, blue, brown. I wear them to work EVERY NIGHT. I do laundry on Wednesday and it starts over, then on Sundays I wear normal clothes, you know, like jeans and a nice shirt. I need my coffee, Pepsi, my laptop with charger and MY CELL PHONE!!







F – FAVORITE PAST TIME: Ok, time to get all corny, but I LOVED my high school dances. All of them, really I did. It was such a magical time where I could dress up and look beautiful and leave all my problems somewhere else for a few hours.




G – GOOD AT: I am AWESOME at cooking and baking, you know, when I actually do. I grew up in restaurants and went to cooking school. I would do it more but I HATE cleaning up and putting everything away.







H – HAVE NEVER TRIED: Rock climbing. It just looks like alot of work and painful if something goes wrong. I try to avoid work at all costs.




I – IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: Sell my stupid house and buy a nice big one with all the crazy stuff like an inside pool, an outside pool, a basketball court, a theater, each kid has there own rooms, each kid has a play room (cause when they have friends over, they can call play separate), nice large open concept house, nice outdoor seating with fireplace and built it BBQ, a master bedroom with an equally size master bath and walk in closet, the whole house would be hardwood with heated floors, 2 offices (cause I ain't sharing with the hubby no more), a scrapbook room, a "man" room, has to have a HUGE garage cause hubby loves to play with his cars, oh and I would buy a few cars. But I would also donate a ton to church, Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault victims, set of college funds for my kids and then give some to my bro and sister.







J – JUNKIE FOR: Taco Bell (please no yelling) I LOVE that place. I know it's crap and made from all kinds of funky stuff but I can't get enough and I HAVE to wash it down with some Pepsi




K – KINDRED SPIRIT: I have 2 really great friends, Tara and Christina. Both are unique in there own ways and I get to share different sides of myself with them. I love them dearly and would do anything for them or their families.







L – LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I was a Betty Bad Ass in school. My sister and I worked as a team. You knew not to mess with the Robinson girls. After many many many suspensions and detentions, I eventually graduated and joined the Army. I credit the Army for turning my life around and making me a respectable human being.




M – MEMORABLE MOMENT: The day all my children were born (one day I will write it all down so I can remember when I'm old) And I know it's not a great memorable moment, but I remember standing in the court room getting divorced from my first husband, also know as, The Worst Day of My Life. I know there are people out there that question that, but it was truly something I would not wish on my worst enemy, ever.



O – OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: A date with my Awesome Hubby!!



P – PROFESSION: Crisis Intervention Specialist and mother to 3 adorable but mouthy children.





Q – QUOTE: "Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to no one" William Shakespeare





R– REASON TO SMILE: Watching my youngest talk on and on about nothing at all



S – SORRY ABOUT: Hurting too many people thought my life so far. Some on purpose, others accident. I am truly sorry.





T -THINGS THAT ARE WORRYING YOU RIGHT NOW: Bills, Marriage, Children, Keeping my job, Life in general...





U – UNINTERESTED IN:Snow and everything snow involves





V – VERY SCARED OF: Being alone and losing my children





W – WORST HABITS: Smoking and cussing. Some of the great things the Army has taught me.





X – X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: Virginia Beach, Virginia. Same old spot we go to almost every year and every year it's the best vacation I have ever had.





Y – YUMMIEST DESSERT: Chocolate cake, especially if it's the 3 layer triple chocolate cake from a little restaurant called Farmer Boy, only $2.59 a slice!





Z – ZODIAC SIGN: Leo. Center of attention and stubborn, hmmmm, does kinda sound like me

I am now a food critic.....read on peeps, read on!!

I have a new part time job! I have decided to be a food critic with a co worker of mine. Every Friday morning, we are hitting a new local restaurant here in Northeast Ohio and giving a review. We decided to do this because we go out to breakfast on Friday mornings and food is what we both love (besides helping survivors of Domestic Violence). I am getting ready to post our first review. I'll be honest, mine is sucky but Deb's is awesome. She is such a talented writer, I gotta step up my game for next week.

Below is the information posted on Facebook, take a few minutes and check us out!!

"Deb & Kelly... CIS warriors by profession, humorous food critics at heart. We have decided to share with our readers the adventures of the most important meal of the day... Breakfast ! Our tasteful or sometimes tasteless journey's will take you to some of Northeast Ohio's finest breakfast hot spots where the food, service, and value will be scrutinized by these 2 very notable food connoisseur's. With over 60 years of combined eating experience; you can't go wrong with Deb & Kelly's "EGG" celent Adventure's ! Follow us on FACEBOOK"

Woodys - October 9th, 2009

DEB'S REVIEW:::



Nestled in the heart of Portage Lakes, neighboring a trailer park; Woody's Restaurant offers a unique dining experience. What appears as if you have entered Mel's Diner from the 70's sitcom Alice, Woody's decor hasn't changed a bit since I was a kid. Designedly challenged, the booths and tables are packed in just as the local grease grubbers appreciate it. Although Woody's is facially deteriorating, the place is clean and free of dried eggs and permanent coffee rings on the tables. I decided to order Corned Beef Hash, Poached eggs, and Rye Toast. I added a side of Hash Browns because I felt that my ass wasn't quite squeezed in the booth tight enough as it was. The presentation of my entree' was... well.. slopped on the plate. The hash was zesty with a bit of "I just got this out of a can" appearance. My poached eggs however were attractive and appetizing. The prices at Woody's are great; this place would definitely fit a weekly string budget for the fiscally challenged. My breakfast was a whopping $ 6.75 including my iced tea. I also left our waitress Flo a few bucks to put towards her dental work. My final review of Woody's get's 2 FORKS; a Decent Dive, however affordable to miss if you're in the Portage Lakes area.



Kel's Review:::



Wow, so excited!! My very first review!! So ya walk in and whoa!! hello 1970's. We had no idea if we were to seat ourselves or wait, but luckily a nice waitress told us to grab some seats. The place was filled with what appeared to be locals. Everyone seemed to be having a great time and enjoying themselves. I ordered Sausage Gravy and Biscuits and a side of grits. The waitress made sure I knew the gravy was a little hot and spicy. Our waitress was so nice and friendly, but not fake nice, she was really for real nice. Our food came out shortly. Deb and I enjoyed some nice conversation and before you knew it, the food was there. My food looked good, not great, but good. The sausage gravy was an orangish color so it kind of freaked me out. The sausage gravy tasted ok. It was made with hot Italian sausage instead of breakfast sausage. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good. It would of tasted much better over a plate of mashed potatoes instead of biscuits. The grits were amazing. They weren't to runny and not too thick and cooked perfectly. As far as price goes, it was perfect. You got pretty nice size portions for a pretty nice price. My Sausage Gravy and Biscuits were $3.50 and the grits were $2.00, the hot tea was $1.50. So in my opinion the price suited the breakfast. So for my first review I am giving this restaurant 3 FORKS. This would make a nice quiet breakfast. Hang out with some locals, eat some pretty good food and not go broke.

Just had to brag for a moment....

Hubby and I went on a date. We went to a consignment shop to shop for the kids and Steak N Shake. Yes folks, you heard it right, shopping for the kids and some fast food. In my defense, at Steak N Shake they have the Carmel Apple Milkshakes back for the season and I know my hubby LOVES them, so I surprised him and took him there for dinner.

OK, back to the bragging part. Here is a list of what I purchased at he children's consignment shop:

Landon - Christmas sweater (children's place)
Chase - Christmas sweater (carters)
Landon - 2 pairs of athletic pants
Landon - 1 pair of khakis
Landon - 1 pair of jeans (brand name)
Chase - Halloween costume (frog) from Old Navy
Chase - Winter coat from Ecko
Landon - Winter coat from Osh Kosh (Looks brand new)
Landon - black dress shoes for holidays
Chase - black dress shoes for holidays
Landon - 4 long sleeve shirts (all brand name)
Emma - t shirt for costume (she is going to be a punk rock star)

Total with tax - $81.24

I totally scored with this shopping trip.

Just trying to listen...

I am listening to the rain come down right now. It is the most peaceful sound at times.

I feel like my last couple posts have been such Debbie Downers. I am trying to get a new way of thinking.

Today at church I helped out in the nursery and got to hold a new born baby.It's been almost 3 years since I have done that. He just laid there staring at me. He was so innocent and peaceful. Then he fell asleep on my chest and I didn't want to give him up when his mom came for him.

I miss that. I miss the innocence. I look at my own childhood and I look at my children and I realized I am stripping them from their innocence.

I don't want to be mean, I don't want to yell. I want to be the loving, caring mom that I have always dreamed of.

I mean, it's stressful. Emma is getting so big and she is learning life everywhere she turns. I want to protect her from the hurt and sadness that is coming. I recently learned that her father and step mom got divorced. They didn't tell anyone and they are still living together. I may or may not have gotten on to our county's public records to find out this info. (What else am I gonna do at 430 am??) I know her pain is coming. My heart breaks for her. She has already had to go through the divorce of her father and I and that was really bad. I just know it's coming.

The boys, Landon and Chase are driving me crazy. I know that it's because they are so close (11 months apart) and they are almost 4 and 3. It's just that they fight all the time. ALL THE TIME. I wish I could explain to them that by them fighting they are just hurting them selves.

I want my kids to to be happy. And for the most part, I think they are.

The main thing is - I LOVE MY KIDS and would give anything for them. I do recognize my problems and I am slowly working on them.

I just don't want them to grow up and write blogs abut how messed up there mom was, just like I do. I want them to grow up thinking they had the best childhood a kid could ask for. I want them to grow up and give everything they have to their own kids.

I am working on, it just takes time. But I don't have too much time.....

I just want to go home.....

Update: I wrote this about a month ago and was trying to decide to post it, well I am, so here it is. All the craziness you can handle....

Seriously, I can't. I feel like so much is slipping away. I feel like I am losing my mind. What is going on? I feel so out of it. Like I am dreaming, like I am watching a Lifetime movie.



My kids drive me nuts and dare I say it, but are bad most of the time. I get so flustered. All Landon seems to do is throw HUGE screaming tantrums, hit his siblings and try to steal food. I woke up Tuesday and came to hang with the kids and Chase had a bite mark the size of a quarter on his arm. I WAS PISSED!! What the heck was Landon thinking??? I totally screwed this kid up and I can't figure out how to fix him!! Matt and I even went to a therpist because his behavior is sooooo bad. We got some good tips but nothing to fix him. And I know what I am about to say will prolly not win me mother of the year, but sometimes I don't like him. Don't get me wrong, I love all my children and would do absolutley anything for them, but there are days where I could pack him stuff up and put him on the corner with a for sale sigh attached to his shirt. I know that prolly makes me a horrible parent but I am tired. I am tired of all the fighting, all the screaming. I'm just so tired. I feel like I am out of options. Landon has his first day of preschool Tuesday which was the day of the biting and today was his second day. And he totally treated me like crap in front of 143 cheerleaders and the parents.



I know your prolly thinking how a 3 year can treat you like crap. Well, I was standing there listening to the director give annoucements and I told the boys they could go play in the grassy area. And before long I hear Chase screaming, look over and Landon's beating the crap out of him. I run over there, yell quietly and put them both in time out and Landon starts screaming, and I mean SCREAMING "YOU DON'T TELL ME THAT" "YOU DON'T HIT ME" (which I didn't, cause I NEVER hit in public for fear that someone will freak out and call children services) and he screamed a bunch more things and of course everyones looking at me. It was AWFUL.



My marriage is hard (yes folks, I know marriage is hard, but the second time around and we are having issues one begins to think that is it herself who has the problems) And yes, I truly think I am the cause of all this. I keep thinking, if I could just get my crap together everything would be fine.



I am a mess. I spend money we don't have ( I have impulse control folks) I am dieting and I keep cheating, not bad cheating, but I am. I am letting down a god friend who put this whole weight loss plan together. It took her alot of time and I am letting her down. I just don't have the motivation. I know I am fat and I know I want to lose weight, I need to lose weight, but I don't want to do any of the work.



In a nut shell, I am just not happy. I am so sad with my life right now and I keep getting further down. I cry all the time. And not little cries but full blown melt downs. I have done it in front of the kids a few times but I try to keep it to my self. I will take a shower and sit on the tub floor and just bawl.



What the heck is wrong with me? One good way to explain how I am feeling is " I want to go home" I know it prolly makes no sense but that's how I feel, I just want to go home. I have no idea what that means but that's what I am yearning for. I want to go home.



I know I need help but help cost money and well I have a problem with money. I wuold rather spend money on "things". I want to see what I buy. Even if it's food or diapers, I can see what I spent money on. That's why bills and doctors suck. I can't see. It's just money wasted.



I am taking anti depressants but really don't think it's working. I have been on it for a month, so I do need to give it a little longer, but come on, I have taken sooooo many drugs, I am not sure a Celexa is going to fix this. I was on Lithium, Depekote and Serequel and I still wasn't better. And those are hard core drugs.



I have a feeling that I am going to die from this mental illness. Please don't take that wrong, but that's the truth. I may make it to 85 years old but I think in the end it's going to be this crazy head of mine that kills me. It feels good to put these crazy feeling out there. It feels good to let loose. To tell the truth. I haven't told the truth in so long, I'm not even sure what it is sometimes. I just keep telling my self that I'm ok even though we all know I'm not. I truly believe I have serious depression issues. I hate calling them mental health issues even though that's what I write.



I don't understand why I can help so many other people but I can't help my self. At work that's all I do. I am CRISIS INTERVENTION SPECIALIST!!! That's all I do is help people who are in crisis. And at church I work with children who parents are going through divorce. How come I can help them but I can't help myself??



I'm not sure I'll ever really post this but it was nice to write it all down.....