Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Cha Cha Cha Changes.....

Things are changing....

Things are scary....

Things are going to get better....

After lots of talking, lots of lists, lots of tears, my husband and I have decided to let the bank take our house.

My husband filed bankruptcy in January and the house was included. We had the option to keep making monthly payments and keep it or stop making payments and forfeit the house. We decided to give it up.

There are many many reasons, too many to list here, but I will share a few. We are not financially stable right now. If something were to break or whatever, we would not have the funds to fix it. We cannot borrow the money from anybody so that is not an option. And I am talking about like if the kids were playing basketball and the ball went through a window...we would not have the $250 for a new window (and yes that's how much the very cheapest window is, the kids just broke 2 windows last July and it cost $510. Those were the $179 windows but with all the lovely add ins, it came to be $255 per window)

And what if the furnace goes (which it is getting ready), there are a lot of updates that need done and we are just not ready.

For those of you who know me, know that I have never wanted to own my own house. I was very content renting. Renting is awesome. Something breaks or something goes wrong, you just call the landlord. NOTHING out of pocket. Rent is like car insurance, if something goes wrong, the rent you have been paying for months and months comes in handy - the landlord takes care of almost anything that goes wrong or breaks.

My husband on the other hand wanted to own his own house by the age of 21. We pretty much picked the first house we saw. I was not happy from day one. I didn't like the layout, the flooring, the crappy work that the previous owners did, the back yard was the size of my hand and the lovely wood paneling EVERYWHERE. The fact that our mortgage payments started out at $925 and now they are $1161 - we just couldn't do it. After I got laid off last year and then came back, but I came back to .70 less per hour. My husband has a base wage and he makes commission, well commission has been waaaaaaayy down from what is has been. The cost of ALL our utilities has went up. We are paying almost $500 in gas to heat our home and part of that is because we have CRAPPY windows and a large bay window that you can feel the icy air come in (and yes, I have shopped around), the cost of gas for our cars and the cost of groceries. I am having a heck of a time trying to feel my family of 5 on $50 a week, and that includes toiletries. I dread when we are out of toilet paper or soap or shampoo because that comes out of the food money.

I can't say that I am not upset because I am. I feel like a failure and a loser. My husband probably feels worse because he knows he is the one who pressured me into this.

We are not telling our friends or family until we have signed a lease and out money down on a rental house. We plan on moving the first weekend in May.

We believe this is the best for our family right now. Matt and I believe that we deserve something better. We deserve to give our kids better. And if that means letting the bank take a house that we have paid over $30000 on in the past 3 years and our balance is more then the original loan because of late fees - then so be it.

We are going to be ok. My husband and I am going to be happy. Our kids are going to be happy.

(and if for some reason you know me in real life and you read this, please do not say anything to anybody until we annouce it first)


Mad Woman said...

Oh sweetie. I'm glad that you're doing something for you guys to get out of the hole. We're struggling too and I often wonder what more we could be doing. I'll be thinking of you! You know how to get me if you need to chat...drop me a line :) Sorry I haven't been around much, I'm back though!