Might as well blog....

So I don't blog alot, I have to change that. It feels like I am sooo busy all the time. Although I really don't know with what. I am always cleaning something, organizing something, watching some kinda recorded show. And I always have a list of things to do. No matter what day what time, I can always produce some sorta to do list. And that sucks. I never feel like a normal person who can just enjoy life and let things be. I just want to go along with things and be happy with my house and life, just for a moment. I always have to be doing something and if I'm not doing something, I am running around going to Walmart, visiting my grandma, just mindless errands that really don't need done. I would rather take my children out in the freezing cold then sit home and relax. I bring so much pressure and stress on my self. I need to quit, but how do you quit something you are so addicted to. How can I make myself learn to relax and calm down. Yes, I know I can pop happy pills which I have and they have such weird and sometimes horrible (like hair falling out), and the fact that I have to remember to take them every day, haha that's how I got Landon, taking birth control everyday was such a pain, so we all know I am not very responsible.

Wow, I just rambled about nothing and more nothing. Why because I have nothing todo so I have to make up stuff to do, I am such a nut case.