Wednesday, July 28, 2010

One more about my Dad.....just an update

I called the coroners office last Friday to find out my dad's cause of death. After saying a huge long word the ME said that he died from a bad heart. He said that my dad most likely had a heart attack and dies instantly. I think I actually let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't even going to ask about the toxicology report but he brought it up and asked if I would like to know the results.

I think I had about 15 different emotions running through me at the same time. Then I remember saying "sure". He told me at the time of death my dad was NEGATIVE for any drugs and alcohol.

In that moment a wave of relief ran through my body. For the first time in sooooo long, I was proud of of dad. I was happy for him. I was happy he didn't lie. I was happy he was clean. I was actually proud of him. That feeling was great and I am still living that feeling.

So now when anyone has anything crappy to say about my dad I am totally going to throw it in there face. He died a recovering drug and alcohol addict. Not a user, but in recovery.

And yes, I know that my dad was far from perfect. He didn't pay child support, he didn't come to see us, he was in and out of jail, he was homeless that last 5 years or so of his life.....BUT the day my dad died HE WAS CLEAN. And I am allowed to be proud of that.